This one is for all the writers, artists, musicians, dancers – creatives of all sorts. If you create something that you share with the world or perform something that you share with the world, you automatically open yourself up to potential criticism. That might mean helpful criticism designed to encourage your growth or it might mean ugliness from people who have nothing better to do with their time. Critique can hurt. Indifference can hurt. But as long as you have any interest in interacting with the world through your art, you’ll have to learn how to manage the emotional give and take.

That’s why it’s so important to protect your joy. Your happiness is a precious commodity, and you should protect it the same way you would protect any other valuable.

What does that mean?

You cannot use outside sources to create joy and contentment for yourself. If you catch yourself saying or thinking along the lines of “once I sell this many books” or “if I can get a five-star review… then I’ll be happy,” you are placing your joy in an outside source. Those are arbitrary goals that may not be an accurate representation of the work you put in.

You cannot control how people perceive you, how they perceive your art, or how they interact with your art. That is a fact universally acknowledged.

Instead of fixating on things outside of your control, focus your attention on things you can control. This is the difference between finding satisfaction in performance and finding satisfaction in process.

I’ve just begun the rewriting process of one of my favorite WIPs, and there’s a big part of me already wondering how my beta readers will react. An irritating, insistent little voice in my head tells me things like “they won’t like that” or “that won’t go over well” or “what if the readers hate that.” That persistent little hater wants me to base all my self-worth and the value of my novel on whether or not people love it when I’m done.

But I refuse to hand over the keys to my own happiness. So here are the things I’m focusing on as metrics of whether or not this project goes “well.”

1. Does the overall theme of the story align with my vision? Do I feel like I told the story that was on my heart to tell?
2. Did I practice or learn craft and managing skills that will continue to improve me as a writer?
3. Did I enjoy the process of writing and have fun with the story or did I let stress, ugly attitude, or perfectionism steal my joy?

At the end of the day, I’m writing this story – like all the ones before it – for the love of it. I love telling stories. When the plot is twisting and the characters are arcing, I’m here for every second of it. Even when it’s a little cheesy, a little silly, a little unedited… I eat it up. Why would I (and why should YOU) let anyone convince me that’s not valuable?

Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to find something about your creative practice that brings you joy. It should be something that originates from you, not from anyone or anything else. Acknowledge it. Celebrate it. And let that be a little happy boost to carry you through the hard days.