When I was a young whippersnapper, all of sixteen years of age, trying my hand at National Novel Writing Month for the first time, there was lots of discussion going on about “pantsing” versus plotting. Was I a fly by the seat of my pants type of writer? Or would I be organized and lay out my plot ahead of time? I’d been writing for years at that point and should have known my particular brand of chaos inside and out, but interestingly enough, I wrote two books that month, the first two of a series. The first one I completely winged, and the second I meticulously outlined.

Both books turned out exactly how I wanted them. The outlined book did run a bit smoother than its pantsed predecessor, though it could be argued that it was because I knew my characters better and it had more action. But I was as happy as anyone could be with the first drafts of both. So, that being said, what do I do now, pants or plot? I pants. And here’s why.

• I enjoy the chaos and discovery of taking a kernel of an idea and seeing where it takes me. I’m a thrill seeker and explorer at heart. I like to get lost and then found again. And I never go into the first draft of something assuming I know exactly what I want out of the story.

• I daydream a lot before I write. You might call it outlining in its own way. But long before I write a scene, I’ve daydreamed thirty different versions of it. The details that stick in my mind tend to be the most vivid and useful, so it’s a natural weeding-out process that makes the writing more streamlined.

• Except for that one NaNoWriMo novel, any outline I’ve ever written became obsolete because I was constantly changing the trajectory of the story as I explored the emotional arcs, and keeping the outline current became a nuisance. As soon as I changed a pivotal moment, the entire thing was a moot point. While I would still go back and pull ideas from the original outline, it no longer informed the course of the book.

• When I write an outline, I feel mentally too fenced in. There’s an element of imaginative play that gets taken away. Is it literally constraining me? No. But it feels like it is, and I don’t like that feeling. Perhaps I’m too rebellious, but apparently, I don’t like being told what to do with my book, even by myself.

• I’m a specific sort of lazy. Outline-lazy.

Do I in any way think plotting is useless or that everyone should throw their outlines away? Of course not. I would never even suggest anyone try writing “my way” because writing is such a personal endeavor, and the most effective way to do it is the way it makes sense to you. I still outline quite a bit, especially if I have new ideas while still entrenched in another project. And if I had never attempted to outline at all and just said it wasn’t for me, I’d force myself to try it at least once.

But something I’ve learned over and over during my twenty-one years of writing fiction is that one of the most effective ways to become a faster, more confident writer is to let it be instinctual. Don’t overthink the rules and norms. Don’t try to force yourself into a mold that’s more palatable to the general public. If your instinct is to cover six markerboards with calendars, maps, timelines, and sticky notes – DO IT. That is how you’re going to get the best out of yourself.

If you want to jot random bits of dialogue down in your phone’s notetaking app and then ruminate on your book while you sip a beer on the porch – DO IT. If that’s how you get the best out of yourself, how can anyone, yourself included, argue its effectiveness?